R

Man proposes, then woman imposes.


RABBIT  A small rodent, very similar to a hare, which feeds on
grass and burrows in the earth.  WELSH RABBIT  More like a string,
thrives on cheese and burrows in the stomach.

RACE-TRACK  An interesting locality, where pools are bought and
sold in books and the heat never interferes with the search for the
Pole.

RADIUM  A radiant radiator, redolent of ranging radial rays of
radio-activity, raised to radical rates and regarded as a ruthless
rake-off in the reign of riches within the arrayed radius of a
raging, raving and raided race.

RAG-TIME  Music pulled into many pieces--the invention of a
flannel-mouth to which many have cottoned.

RAPID TRANSIT  A municipal myth, circulated for the amusement of
the long suffering--and slow moving--public.

REFORM  In general, a periodic epidemic, starting with marked heat,
followed by a high fever, and accompanied by a flow of ink in the
newspapers, a discharge of words from the face and a rush of blood
to the polls, leaving the victim a chronic invalid until the next
campaign.  In New York, reform has been confined to a Low attempt
at government.

REFORMER  One who, when he smells a rat, is eager to let the cat
out of the bag.

REGISTER  The only autograph album which it costs you money to
write in.

REGRETS  An excuse for non-attendance at a social function.
Occasionally, an expression of sorrow; usually, a paean of praise
at deliverance from evil.

RELATIONS  A tedious pack of people who haven't the remotest
knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to
die.

RELIGION  A cloak used by some persons in this world who will be
warm enough without one in the next.

R. E. MORSE  A veteran General who commands the largest army in the
world.

REPARTEE  The sassy habit of talking back.

REPUTATION  A personal possession, frequently not discovered until
lost.

RESIDENCE  A rural locality inhabited annually--for a few hours--by
a rich New Yorker or Bostonian.

RESOLUTION  A fragile bit of crockery fashioned on the first day of
January and usually broken on the second.

RESORT (SUMMER)  A place where the tired grow more tired.  From
Eng. rest, and Grk. orizo, to limit.  A place where rest is
limited.

REST  A trade in which every hobo holds a Union Card for life.

RESTAURANT  An institution for the spread of dyspepsia.  From Lat.
restauro, to repair, and Grk. anti, against.  After patronizing,
you're "up against repairs."

RHETORIC  Language in a dress suit.

RICE  An effective field-piece, used for assaulting Chinamen or the
newly-married.

ROQUEFORT  A kind of cheese whose odor puts it easily in the first
rank.

ROYCROFTER  A successful book-maker on the East Aurora turf.  From
Fr. roi, king, and old Saxon crofter, or grafter.  King of
Grafters.

RUMOR  The long-distance champion of the Human Race--a monster with
more tales
than an octopus.

RUST  Physical dullness.

RUSTIC  Mental dullness.


Beggars should never be choosers--though the beggar often chews
what he begs.

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