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There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood,
leads on to Fortune--But most of us catch our watered stock on the ebb.

UMBRELLA  A good thing to put up in a shower--or pawn-shop; but,
like skating, never seen after Lent.

UNBOSOMED  A shirt just returned from a steam laundry.

UNION  An ailing individual frequently troubled by scabs and liable
to strike without warning.

UMPIRE  No jeweler, but a high authority on diamonds.

USHER  One who takes a leading part in a theatre.

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